Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot
Hannah (to her parents after they cut her off financially, handing them her manuscript and asking for more money): I don’t wanna freak you out, but I think that I may be the voice of my generation. Or at least a voice, of a generation.
Season 1, Episode 4: Hannah’s Diary
Adam (to Hannah who came to break up with him): What do you want?
Hannah: I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I’m the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me.
Season 1, Episode 5: Hard Being Easy
Hannah (to Jessa who suggests she should sleep with her boss): Well I can’t fuck anyone now caus I have a boyfriend.
Hannah: Adam. I told him everything. How he was torturing me, how sad I was and he responded in such a lovely way. He like kissed me and kissed me and kissed me. And he said ‘be who you are’ and he touched my face, and like we’re basically together now.
Jessa: Well, you know, guys like that will try anything once, even love.
Season 1, Episode 6: The Return
Hannah’s parents (to Hannah after she decides to go on a date in her hometown instead of hanging out with her parents): But we had a plan.
Hannah: I don’t think that you guys are understanding the severity of this situation. I have been dating someone who treats my heart like it’s monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time. So I need to learn what it’s like to be treated well before it’s too late for me.
Loreen: Go, go, just go with Eric.
Season 1, Episode 10: She Did
Hannah (to Adam who walked out after she asked Elijah to move in with her): Why are you so mad at me? I brought you cake.
Adam: You love yourself so much, so why is it so crazy that someone else would too?
Hannah: I don’t love myself.
Adam: You’re the fucking worst, you know that? Because you think you’re not pretty, and you’re not a good writer, and you’re not a good friend. Well, you are pretty, and you are a good writer, and you are a good friend.
Hannah: Thank you.
Adam: Is this the game? You chase me like I’m in the fucking Beatles for six months and then I finally get comfortable and you shrug?
Adam: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Hannah: I’m scared, ok? I’m really scared all the time. I’m like very scared all the time.
Adam: Join the fucking club.
Hannah: No. Cause I’m more scared than most people are when they say that they’re scared. I’m like the most scared person who’s alive.
Adam: Well you don’t have the right to be. I told you once I commit to something, I really fucking commit. You asked for this. And now you’re being a fucking bitch.
Hannah: Adam, come on. You’re scared, I know you are. You’re acting like you’re not scared but I know you are. I know you now, we’ve been doing this for a while. I know you now.
Adam: Stop. You don’t know me.
Season 2, Episode 1: It’s About Time
Ray (to Shoshana at Hannah’s house party): My computer tells me you unfriended me on Facebook.
Shosh: Yeah, well I didn’t feel like seeing you in my feed anymore.
Ray: That’s not very nice.
Shosh: Yeah well, you weren’t very nice. You hurt me, ok, you hurt my feelings. But I can deal with it because I have my big girl pants on.
Ray: Look, I don’t want you to be upset with me.
Shosh: You’re kidding, right? You don’t wanna date me that’s fine because I don’t want to date you either because I only want to date people who want to date me because that is called self-respect, but I do not have to like you, ok? You were never my friend, you were only my lover and that is now over. […] You rejected me and you are now insulting me and you do not get to have me like you now. So you should…
Ray: Hold on, let me finish. What I wanted to say is when I’m around you I remember your charm, your innocence, your strength. This beautiful, fresh, vibrant sincerity.
Shosh: You know, I am really tired of being insulted even when it comes before a compliment. So I’m now leaving.
Ray grabs her and kisses her.
Hannah (to Adam, who doesn’t want her to leave him): You know what, I have tried this whole thing, ok, of being selfless and taking care of everyone around me and worrying about everyone before myself, but you know what, I’m an individual and I feel how I feel when I feel it. And right now I feel like I don’t ever want to see you again. Is that ok?
Adam: No, not ok.
Hannah: Well, it’s not your choice, it’s my choice.
Season 2, Episode 2: I Get Ideas
Hannah (to Jessa talking about her new relationship): He’s supper supportive creatively. Like I gave him my essay three days ago and he’s so excited to read it. He’s busy with finals and stuff but he seems so excited to read it.
Jessa: He hasn’t read it yet?
Hannah: No he’s been really busy with law school.
Jessa: Really, that’s bullshit. Thomas John looks at my paintings at the moment I show them to him.
Hannah (after a pause): I know, that was so…
Jessa: He’s not reading your essays, he’s not reading you.
Hannah (to Marnie and Elijah): Well, Sandy and I broke up, so that’s over.
Marnie and Elijah: Oh, I’m so sorry, that sucks, what happened?
Hannah (pointing at them): Your rights happened and your rights happened, cause I can’t be with someone who is not an ally to gays and women.
Marnie and Elijah: Thank you, thanks.
Season 2, Episode 5: One Man’s Trash
Hannah (to Joshua): You know, I think what I didn’t realize before I met you is that I was like lonely, in such a deep, deep way. You know I was reaching for all this stuff but all I really needed was to look at someone and be like, oh that person wants to be there after I’m dead, you know?
Season 2, Episode 6: Boys
Marnie (to Booth Jonathan, crying, after he told her she is not his girlfriend): I just like spending time with you. I just think, I don’t know. I feel really stupid now. Usually when I think somebody is my boyfriend, they’re my boyfriend and I’m not delusional about it, and I just feel dumb. All because I just like spending time with you. And I hoped you were my boyfriend. I’m a long-time fan of your work, and I just like everything in your life, and I’m wearing this dress, and I like your house.
Booth Jonathan: You think you enjoy hanging out with me or my work more?
Marnie: Honestly, I think I just like the idea of you, like it’d be cool to know you.
Booth Jonathan: Oh my god, fuck this! See this is exactly why I can’t hang out with anyone. Because everyone just uses me for what I represent to them. You don’t actually like me.
Marie: Yes I do.
Booth Jonathan: No you don’t.
Marnie: Hey, you’re a great guy. Everyone loves you.
Booth Jonathan: No one even knows me, Marnie. Not even you. This party fucking sucks, I hate everyone here. I hate all of my friends.
Marnie: Ok, I’m gonna go home.
Season 2, Episode 7: Video Games
Jessa (to her father): You have no idea, do you? Of how much time I’ve spend waiting for you. Of how much shit I’ve taken because you never taught me how to do anything else.
Her father: Oh yeah, what shit?
Jessa: Everything. You disappearing for months on end, you never taking my calls when things between mom and me were so bad. Why didn’t you stand up for me? Why weren’t you there? Why can’t you do one single thing you say you’re gonna do? And you act like you want me to come see you, but you don’t know how to have me here, you don’t know how to deal with it, you don’t know how to even have a conversation with me.
Her father: You think I can rely on you, hm?
Jessa: You shouldn’t have to. I’m the child. I’m the child.
Season 2, Episode 8: It’s Back
Marnie (to Ray): Charlie [her ex] is living the dream. I thought he would be broken for like six years. I like mentally budgeted in six years of brokenness. But he’s not broken at all. And it just proves to me, it doesn’t matter how right you do things because you know who end up living their dreams are like sad messes like Charlie. And the people who end up like flaying behind are people like me who have their shit together.
Ray: Marnie learned another life lesson. Adorable. Want a gummy frog?
Marnie takes a few, eats one and throws the rest against the wall.
Ray: You’re mad because you want what he has. So stop thinking and start doing that.
Marnie: I don’t understand.
Ray: Ok, Marnie, what’s your dream? What do you really, really want to do? You wanna be a curator? Open up a small gallery in an old burrito factory. You wanna be a mother, get fucking pregnant.
Marnie: Oh my god…
Ray: Turn this potential energy into kinetic energy. Stop being a cartographer and become an explorer. What do you really wanna do? What’s your dream? Stop thinking, just tell me what is it?
Marnie: Just yell it out?
Ray: What are you feeling, what’s inside of you? Just tell me.
Marnie: I wanna, I wanna sing.
Ray: What’s the second thing you wanna do?
Marnie: That’s my dream.
Season 2, Episode 10: Together
Marnie comes to check up on Hannah, who is hiding to avoid her because her book is overdue. Marnie but reads on Hannah’s computer the following: “A friendship between college girls is grander and more dramatic than any romance” – the only lines she has written for her overdue e-book.
Season 3, Episode 1: Females Only
Marnie’s mother: You don’t understand how hard it is to get to this place. I didn’t get here overnight. I did a lot of self-work, I did charity work. I worked on my body, I worked on myself. You have to work hard to move on.
Marnie: I am, ok. How do you not think I’m trying. I’ve changed my whole life. I’m doing everything differently. Why are being like this. Why are you yelling at me?
Marnie’s mother: Because I am fucking sick of talking about him. He’s just the first of twenty guys who’s gonna fuck you over. That’s just what guys do. Why focus on this one, it’s not like he was Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum.
Marnie: I thought I was gonna spend my life with him. You of all people should know what that’s like. It’s hard and it’s scary.
Marnie’s mother: We don’t get scared. That’s not our style. […]
Marnie: Mom, I go into the city to work every day and I have a job where I am respected. I have friends and I’m getting a new apartment. I’ve already fixed everything.
Marnie’s mom (walks out): Hm.
Adam (to Marnie about an ex-girlfriend): And then one day after being fucked up for months I realized something. I didn’t know her. She didn’t know me. Just because I tasted her cum or spit and knew her middle name or knew what records she liked that doesn’t mean anything. That’s not a connection. Anyone can have that. Really knowing someone is something else. It’s a completely different thing. And when it happens you won’t be able to miss it. You will be aware. And you won’t hurt or be afraid. Ok?
Season 3, Episode 2: Truth or Dare
Jasper (to Jessa in Rehab): You poor thing. You’re too young to understand which thoughts are useless to you. When you get older, your mind learns to let go of things that don’t suit you. You start to live with the same ignorance as the very young. Of course being young is terrifying as well. You have all the knowledge, but none of the language to dissuade yourself from the horrible truths of the world.
Season 3, Episode 5: Only Child
Hannah (to Adam and his sister Caroline fighting over his groceries): Guys, I cannot take this anymore. We have to work this out.
Adam: There is no working this out.
Hannah: Ok, I’ve watched enough Dr. Phil interventions to know that you can work anything out if you talk about it.
Caroline: I would love to.
Season 3, Episode 7: Beach House
Marnie: I just think I have abandonment issues, if I’m being totally honest, and it’s much more than I realized and they’re all from my father, but they just veer their heads in other ways.
Hannah: Marnie, of course you do. How could you not with that asshole in your life, you know what I mean? And then for me, I have the opposite of that, which is that it has been so hard for me to get the space I need from my parents. Loreen and Tad are so involved. They never gave me space to even read a book, just calling Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. And so when I was finally an adult I went to seize that space, and I think you ended up being a casualty of that. And I feel so sorry for that.
Marnie: Do not have any guilt about this because I am ok. I may not seem ok, and I may not be ok now, but I’m like ok.
Season 3, Episode 8: Incidentals
Ray (to Marnie who brought him pizza): I can’t do this.
Marnie: What do you mean?
Ray: I don’t want to do this. I want a girlfriend, Marnie. Like a legitimate girlfriend. I want a relationship that’s deep and sincere, and challenging and scary. I want it to be real. I want to meet a girl that I have a lot in common with and ask her out and learn about her family on a park bench in the middle of the night. And if things go really well, maybe invite her back to my place and put on some music. You know?
Marnie: So you’re dumping me?
Marnie: Are you fucking serious? You can’t break up with me Ray, I don’t care about this. I wouldn’t e eating pizza in front of you if I actually liked you.
Ray: I realize this doesn’t make sense biologically.
Marnie: Was this your plan the whole time, Ray? Just humiliate the girl that you couldn’t get in high school? Well guess what, it’s not gonna fucking work because I don’t care. (She leaves and takes the pizza with her.)
Season 3, Episode 9: Flo
Adam (on the phone to Hannah who told him that her mom asked her to lie to her grandma that they are getting married): But we’re not getting married.
Hannah: Do you mean like ever, or?
Adam: Uhhh, do you want to?
Hannah: Ah no, I always promised myself I wouldn’t get married until I had a swimming pool in my living room. But I just felt like at some point, I don’t know…
Adam (is interrupted by Desi, who says they have to get back to rehearsal): ok, I have to get back.
Hannah: Ok, just forget we ever talked about this.
Hannah: I guess I just thought that you were thinking about this in a more committed way, so I’m feeling a little like…
Adam: I am, I am very committed to you at this time.
Hannah: Ok, this is a conversation that I never ever wanted to have, and it might seem like I was angling to have it, but I really was not and it’s making me extremely stressed and a little angry for reasons I don’t understand, so I actually have to go now, buy!
Hannah (to her mom after Adam leaves): He’s a good dude. I guess if grandma lives we’re gonna have to get married.
Loreen: Keep the job, not the guy, right?
Hannah: Wait, what?
Loreen: You know, you’re so special, you deserve everything and more. He’s really nice, but you know, stay open to possibilities.
Hannah: Mom, how dare you talk about something you know literally nothing about?
Loreen: You’re right, I don’t know him very well, you see certain things. He’s off, he’s angry, he’s uncomfortable in his own skin, he bounces around from thing to thing.
Hannah: Again, you have no idea.
Loreen: Let me talk. I don’t want you to spend your whole life socializing him like he is a stray dog, making the wold a friendlier place for him. It’s not easy being married to an odd man. It isn’t.
Hannah: Well, I don’t know what to say. He’s been really nice to you and you’re being very unkind.
Season 3, Episode 11: I Saw You
Ray (after Marnie comes over and kisses him): Hey, I thought we said we weren’t gonna do this anymore.
Marnie: Yeah, you said that, but I never signed off on anything.
Ray: Look wait, I’m not opposed to the… general idea where this seems to be headed, but I do think we should try to nail down the specifics of what this means in a more global, macro sense.
Marnie: Ok, Ray, yeah, you do that, and whenever you’re done doing that I’m gonna be in here waiting for you (takes off her shirt) naked.
Season 3, Episode 12: Two Plane Rides
Hannah (to Adam before the opening night of his Broadway play): I wanted to tell you that I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of you. You’ve taught me so much about perseverance and commitment and creativity.
Adam: Well, I love you.
Hannah: I love you too. And before I go, which I will do in a second, I wanted to tell you that I got into grad school in Iowa, the Iowa Writers’ Workshop and I didn’t expect it, but the thing is like watching you thrive creatively over these past few weeks it’s made me want to thrive. It’s made me want to find a hole in the world in the shape of me and just fill it up. And I know that sounds crazy…
Adam: It doesn’t sound crazy
Hannah: And I have to decide soon, and I think I’m gonna tell them yes, and then figure it out. Cause that’s what people do. We can figure it out and then we can be one of those artists couples who are doing different things and different rooms and they call each other and say look at what I’m doing.
Elijah (to Hannah during the intermission): I’m really gonna be sad living in the city without you.
Hannah: You’re not gonna be without me all the time. I’m gonna be back and forth, I will be bi-coastal.
Elijah: Iowa is not a coast.
Hannah: It’s a figure of speech. I’m gonna pee.
Season 4, Episode 1: Iowa
Beadie’s daughter (when confronting Jessa about millennial entitlement): Every time I meet someone five or more years younger than me, they are a complete asshole. Is it because you were told you were special one too many times and you believed it? Because when my generation and every generation before me were called special, we were smart enough to know it meant we were stupid, so it made us work that much harder to stop being stupid.
Elijah: Marnie, this business is not for sissy bitches.
Elijah: The crying, the shaking, I mean, you gotta give it a fucking rest.
Marnie: Elijah, where are your manners?
Elijah: Look, honey, if you wanna do this, you have to thicken your skin, ok. You should have stopped giving a fuck when you got up on that stage. What do Judy Garland and Lady Gaga have in common?
Marnie: They’re both white?
Elijah: No, they’re both bad bitches who don’t give a fuck what people think.
Season 4, Episode 2: Triggering
Hannah (protesting the concept of TMI): By the way, TMI is such an outdated concept. There’s no such thing as too much information, this is the information age! We’re all just here to express ourselves, so it’s like to sensor each other is – we’re not better than George W. Bush.
Hannah (when Shoshana doesn’t know she is trying to call collect): Have you ever heard of a collect call you mother-fucking cunts.
Hannah (calling her parents): Hey mommy, can I ask you a question?
Mother (playing Scrabble with Hannah’s father): Sure, of course.
Hannah: Is it normal when you get to a new place to think about suicide for the first time ever?
Mother (counting Scrabble points): Whaat?
Hannah: Not that you wanna do it, or anything. Just that you could do it. You’re thinking about ways to do it that never occurred to you before.
Mother: Yeah, I think that’s normal. I mean, whenever I’m on a very high building I always think I could jump. When I hold a baby, I…
Father: You think of dropping the baby. Just because.
Mother: You do.
Father: Honey, can you ask Hannah to call us back when we’re done with the game?
Mother: Your dad wants us to call you back, I think he has a really good word.
Mother: We’ll call you right back, ok sweetie?
Hannah (seeing a girl crying at a party): What’s wrong?
Girl: My boyfriend is cheating on me.
Hannah: Your boyfriend is cheating on you? Where the fuck is that dick bag?
Girl: Des Moines. He goes to Iowa State.
Hannah: Oh so you’re saying it’s long-distance thing?
Hannah: Oh then you’re gonna need to snap out of it. Thems the rules honey, don’t ask, don’t tell. You’re not gonna know what he is doing there. He’s not gonna know what you’re doing here. And that’s ok, and that’s why you’re gonna move into that living room and you’re gonna bust a nut. You’re gonna get your dick wanked, you’re gonna get yours. That’s what you need to do. You can’t sit around thinking, Little Miss Faithful, that’s fucking crazy. Are you crazy?
Hannah (hugs her): I’m sorry. (hand her a beer) Here, drink this, drink this!
Season 4, Episode 3: Female Author
Ray (to Marnie about Desi not leaving his girlfriend): I still don’t think you should be with this guy.
Marnie: Cause he called you a hepcat that one time?
Ray: Because anyone who would treat you this way is selfish and a coward and, we’ve already established he has one massive character flaw, which is that he hasn’t chosen you.
Shoshana (to the woman interviewing her for a job she doesn’t want): You should know that about me, I think it’s very important to be honest, even when it’s a little bit difficult.
Interviewer: Super important, yeah.
Adam (to Jessa): Do you think it’s fine that I threw out all of Hannah’s refrigerator magnets?
Jessa: This whole thing is why I hate relationships between white people.
Marnie (to Desi about how she really feels about their affair): We’re building a future together, a musical future together. So why the fuck do you still have a girlfriend who isn’t me?
Desi: I think I’ve been very clear with you from the beginning.
Marnie: Yes you have but it doesn’t make that ok, it doesn’t make it feel ok.
Desi: You are very young, you are very smart, you are very beautiful.
Marnie: Thank you.
Desi: And you’re living in this amazing city, ok. And if we’re gonna have this incredible explosive, sexually-collaborative musical relationship, which I can I totally see, to be honest with you, maybe right now what you need to be doing is exploring and embracing your freedom, and figuring out what it is that you really really want.
Marnie: The problem with your plan is that I already know what I want. And you’re not offering it to me.
Hannah (at a house party): I feel really uncomfortable. Everyone from my program is here. I really don’t want to be here right now.
Elijah: It’s just because you hot-rolled your hair. You’re uncomfortable in your own skin and you think it’s everybody else’s problem. But you know what, where-ever you are, there you go. Is that the quote? Does that sound right? […] Everything works out the way it should.
Season 4, Episode 4: Cubbies
Hannah’s father: All I’m saying is that sometimes the stupidest fuckin’ decision in the world is the right decision for you.
Shoshana: People always talk about how love is like the strongest emotion. But I was scared, and sometimes that’s even stronger. […] You know I like knowing that I did love you cause that makes me think that I might be capable of something else great someday. And for now, I would like to offer myself to you as your true and unyielding friend, and friends do not let other friends buy underwear in Forest Hills.
Hannah (to her father): How do you know if you made the right decision? I wanna make the right decision.
Father: You know when you’ll know. You know?
Season 4, Episode 5: Sit-In
Hannah (to Shoshana after finding out that Adam has a new live-in girlfriend): We loved each other, Shosh. We loved each other and nothing has changed. I’m the same person I was when he loved me, in fact, I’m an arguably better person because I went away and figured out what I want.
Shoshana: Hannah, we are going to get through this.
Hannah: I want to die.
Shoshana: No you don’t. You and me and Jessa, and/or Marnie we are going to get through this together. If they ever show up or call back, I’ll say you have absolutely lost weight and that it a definite.
Hannah: Yes, two and half pounds.
Shoshana: Yeah, I know, that’s a lot.
Hannah (in response to a third offer for tea): Why is everyone acting like tea is some sort of magic elixir that will make it so Adam doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore?
Marnie: Honestly, I think I’ve just been avoiding you cause I have no idea how to say what I need to say to you.
Hannah: Great, are you breaking up with me too?
Marnie: No, Hannah, I love you! I want you to be happy, which is why I think you need to let Adam go.
Hannah: No, I don’t.
Marnie: Yeah, you do. You’re the one who left. And I’m sure he should not have moved on as quickly, but he did. And he’s just trying to be happy and if you don’t give him the space to at least see where this goes he’s gonna hate you forever. And you’ll hate yourself. Just trust me, you have to let him go.
Hannah: Letting go doesn’t come very naturally to me.
Marnie: I know that. And it’s fucking hard, but did you really think that you and Adam were gonna be a forever couple?
Hannah: I would have liked the chance to find out.
Marnie: I think you have found out. I think you have your answer.
Hannah: So I guess we’re not some great artistic love story.
Marnie: Maybe we are.
Hannah: You and me?
Hannah: Fine, I’ll take it.
Season 4, Episode 6: Close Up
Hannah (to her therapist): I guess the upside of having everything go wrong in your life is that you cease to have any expectations of anything or anybody.
Therapist: That’s an unbelievably mature thing for a person your age to say.
Hannah: The thing that’s bothering me the most is that I have no idea what’s coming next. I’ve never felt that way before. I don’t even know what I want to have happen.
Therapist: Well, when you were writing as a career option, how was that? Was it fulfilling?
Hannah: I guess I liked the fact that writing has the ability to affect change. You know, the writers who I loved really helped me to form my world views. I guess I wanted to help other people the way those writers helped me.
Therapist: You’re a helper.
Adam (to Mimi-Rose about her abortion): Why didn’t you talk to me about it?
Mimi-Rose: Cause I knew what I wanted to do.
Adam: Why didn’t you want me to come with you? Don’t you need me at all? Cause it freaks me out. You never tell me what you’re working on, you don’t mind if I don’t make it to whatever fucking party you don’t ask me how you look or whatever, you just look in the mirror and go. You’re like those jelly fish who only need to fuck once to have generations of kids. Sometimes I can’t tell what I’m even here for at all. […] I need my butcher more than you need me.
Mimi-Rose: No, I don’t need you, but I love coming home and knowing you’re behind the door.
Season 4, Episode 7: Ask Me My Name
Season 4, Episode 8: Tad & Loreen & Avi & Shanaz
Hannah (to Fran): You’re attracted to me, you’re intrigued by me. You think I’m a wild horse and you wanna tame me. I understand all of that. It’s the new frontier of misogyny: take a woman who’s in control of her life and then silence her. And I’m up for it.
Season 4, Episode 9: Daddy Issues